Prayer is a basic Christian practice and one frequently misunderstood. Some treat it as ordering from God, others as fluent religious performance, while others feel unworthy or do not know what to say. Beginning with the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6:9–13, this article rediscovers prayer as a genuine conversation between children and their heavenly Father, rather than a religious obligation or wish-making ceremony. You need neither elaborate words nor prior self-improvement. Simply speak honestly to your Father like a child.
Speaker: Pastor Bond
“Pray like this: ‘Our Father in heaven…’” (Matthew 6:9)
Prayer is not ordering from God. Some treat it as precise wish-making: choose the right words and format, and God must comply. But God is no vending machine.
Nor is prayer a religious performance. Jesus criticises those who love praying in synagogues and on street corners to be seen by others (Matthew 6:5). Prayer is addressed to God, rather than an audience.
Nor must you first qualify to pray. Many refrain because they feel insufficiently good or ashamed after sinning. Hebrews says the opposite:
“Let's therefore draw near with boldness to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace for help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)
You come boldly because Christ has opened the way, rather than because you deserve it. The less worthy you feel, the more you need to come. This is a throne of grace, rather than a performance assessment.
What, then, is prayer? Simply a real conversation between children and their heavenly Father. A child can speak happily, sadly or angrily, ask for things, or quietly remain with their father without words. Relationship is central, rather than technique.
The disciples directly asked Jesus to teach them to pray (Luke 11:1). He gave them the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9–13). It is a framework showing what prayer can include, as well as words to remember.
“Our Father in heaven”: recognise whom you address: your heavenly Father, rather than an unfamiliar deity. He is exalted, in heaven, and near, your Father. The address sets the tone: trust, intimacy and respect.
“May your name be kept holy”: put God before your needs. Begin with honouring his name, rather than what you want. This draws your attention out of anxiety towards his greatness.
“Let your Kingdom come. Let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”: pray for his kingdom and will: justice in the world, the church's building up and the gospel's spread. Prayer concerns how the world should look in God's eyes, beyond your personal affairs.
“Give us today our daily bread”: then bring personal needs, specifically today's. This is a rhythm of daily trust and living in the present, rather than trying to pray away a lifetime of worries at once.
“Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors”: confession and forgiveness. Face your failures honestly and practise releasing others through forgiveness.
“Bring us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one”: ask for protection and strength, acknowledging weakness and your need of God's care.
The framework is practical: worship → kingdom → needs → confession → protection. If unsure how to pray, work through these in order. Each can be brief, but each matters.
“Whom should I pray to: the Father, Jesus or the Holy Spirit?”
New believers often stumble here, but Scripture gives a clear pattern: usually pray to the heavenly Father, in Jesus' name, through the Holy Spirit.
Jesus begins with “Our Father in heaven” (Matthew 6:9) and says the Father will give what the disciples ask in his name (John 16:23). Paul brings all three together:
“For through him we both have our access in one Spirit to the Father.” (Ephesians 2:18)
Speak to the Father, in Jesus' name, through the Spirit: this is Scripture's most common direction.
Father, Son and Holy Spirit are three distinct persons of the one God, rather than three interchangeable names for the same person. The point is that the Son opened the way to the Father and the Spirit brings you along it, rather than that any address is simply identical.
May you speak directly to Jesus? Yes. As Stephen was stoned, he called, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit!” (Acts 7:59). The Holy Spirit is equally God, and asking him is not wrong. Do not become too anxious to speak. God does not refuse to listen because you used the wrong form of address.
“Must I say ‘in the name of the Lord Jesus’?”
This is neither an incantation nor a password activating prayer. It means I ask on Jesus' standing, rather than my own. Jesus says he will do what is asked in his name (John 14:13). Saying it reminds you of this; forgetting the phrase does not make God stop listening.
“Must prayer be spoken aloud?”
No. Jesus says to enter your inner room, shut the door and pray to your Father in secret (Matthew 6:6). His point concerns avoiding performance, rather than requiring audible speech. God hears inward words too: on the way to work, on a bus or awake in the night.
“Is repeating the same words every time wrong?”
Jesus warns against vain repetitions like the Gentiles, who suppose many words guarantee a hearing (Matthew 6:7). He opposes using words as bargaining chips, rather than repetition itself. Parents do not object when children say “I'm home” or “Good night” every day.
If you feel dry, try speaking a psalm as your own prayer—Psalms 23, 51 and 103 are accessible beginnings—or follow the Lord's Prayer's five steps above, one sentence for each.
You need no elaborate language. God sees the heart, rather than rhetoric. Length and eloquence do not determine a prayer's weight. “Lord, I'm afraid; help me” matters as much to him as five minutes of beautiful words.
You may pray at any time. “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) does not require twenty-four hours on your knees. Keep the channel open: a word of thanks on the commute, a cry for help in difficulty, quiet before sleep. These are all prayer.
It is all right not to know what to say. Paul says, “We don't know how to pray as we ought” (Romans 8:26). Even the apostles shared this experience. The verse continues, “The Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can't be uttered.” When your mouth has no words, the Spirit personally intercedes, beyond merely translating for you. Weakness does not push you outside; it is precisely where he supports you.
God hears, but may answer no or wait. Jesus says to ask and receive (Matthew 7:7), but this is not an automatically redeemable blank cheque. God is a Father, and good fathers do not grant every request. He gives what you need, not necessarily what you want, on a timetable that may differ from yours. Yet you can trust his goodness, including when the answer is no or wait.
“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11)
One easily overlooked truth remains: prayer's greatest value lies in the relationship with God it builds and deepens, beyond the results obtained afterwards.
Closeness with someone rests on real, honest, sustained conversation as well as help received. It is similar with God. The process itself—becoming quiet, opening your heart and turning towards him—is grace.
Do not stop because there seems to be no answer. Sometimes the greatest response is the peace quietly settling in your heart during prayer.
Dear brothers and sisters, if you do not know how to pray, neither did the disciples at first. They asked Jesus to teach them. He responded patiently, rather than despising them. You can ask the same.
Begin with the Lord's Prayer: look to the Father, care about his kingdom, entrust today's needs, confess your failures and ask for protection. A few minutes each day, with sincerity rather than perfection.
“In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6–7)
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing me to come because Jesus opened the way, rather than because I qualify. Teach me to pray as a child speaking honestly to you, beyond beautiful phrases. Help me become quiet each day, turn to you, and place my worship, needs, failures and weakness in your hands. In the name of the Lord Jesus, amen.
📖 Everyday Responses of Faith · A fifteen-part series
Further reading: To learn meditative prayer, read A Guide to Meditative Prayer: From One-Way Monologue to Walking with God. For a systematic study of prayer, read Enjoying a Life of Prayer: Study Guide.
This article may be freely reproduced, printed and used for preaching or training without requesting the author's permission. Please contact the author before commercial publication.