Growing Old Together: Marriage in Later Life, Lesson 7. Read Luke 2:25-38. The partner of decades is suddenly gone; you don't know who to set the table for, or how to live on alone.
Main passage: Luke 2:25-38
Anna was widowed after seven years of marriage, and in great old age she still worshipped "night and day"; when she saw the child she gave thanks to God and spoke of him to those waiting for redemption. Simeon, holding him, said, "Now you are releasing your servant... in peace." When a spouse has gone, life alone is still in God's hands; the hope we have in Christ gives grief a place, and gives us strength to go on.
The companion of decades is suddenly gone. After the funeral the relatives leave, the children go back to work, and you are alone in the flat. You still set out two sets of bowls and chopsticks out of habit; the TV is showing the programme he loved; you turn your head, and the chair is empty. The first year holds many "first times," and they are often especially hard: his birthday, New Year, Qingming, the days when you yourself are ill. For some, the hardest time comes later. Some can't sleep at night, some don't want to go out, and some keep going over the things they didn't get to say or do.
Luke 2, on the day the infant Jesus is brought into the temple, describes two people waiting for God's salvation. One is Simeon:
This man was righteous and devout, looking for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him. (Luke 2:25)
He had been waiting expectantly. That day he took the child in his arms and blessed God, saying:
Now you are releasing your servant, Master, according to your word, in peace; (Luke 2:29)
for my eyes have seen your salvation, (Luke 2:30)
Simeon could speak so calmly of his own death because he had seen God's salvation. Death had not disappeared from before him; it was simply no longer the final word.
The other is Anna, a prophetess. Luke sums up her life in a few lines:
(she was of a great age, having lived with a husband seven years from her virginity, and she had been a widow for about eighty-four years), who didn't depart from the temple, worshiping with fastings and petitions night and day. (Luke 2:36–37)
Verse 37 can be read two ways: either she had been a widow for eighty-four years, or she was now eighty-four years old. Either way, her years as a widow were long. The text doesn't describe how she came through the years after losing her husband, or how many times she wept; what it records is that she gave the long remainder of her life to prayer and to serving God. "Didn't depart from the temple" means she was constantly there, so that to think of her was to think of prayer. That day, "she gave thanks to the Lord, and spoke of him to all those who were looking for redemption in Jerusalem" (Luke 2:38). An old woman, widowed for many years, became one of the first to speak about this child.
When a spouse has gone, life changes, but it hasn't ended. God may still have work for us: praying for children and grandchildren, visiting others who live alone like us, telling people at church how God has led us all these years. None of this needs to wait until the heart stops hurting.
We may grieve. Paul writes about those who have fallen asleep in Jesus, "so that you don't grieve like the rest, who have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13). He doesn't say we must not grieve; he says our grief has hope in it. Jesus died and rose again, and those who belong to him will also rise. The salvation Simeon saw is this very Jesus.
There is a line in Isaiah worth reading slowly on a night spent alone:
Even to old age I am he, and even to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear. Yes, I will carry, and will deliver. (Isaiah 46:4)
These words were first spoken to the house of Israel, and they also show God's heart toward those who belong to him: he has carried us since birth, and now that our hair is grey and our spouse is gone, he is still carrying us.
1. Two people, both waiting. Simeon was "looking for the consolation of Israel"; Anna gave the rest of her life to prayer and worship. The text doesn't give Simeon's age; it is Anna who is explicitly described as very old. Luke places them side by side to show us how believers wait for God's salvation.
2. "Releasing your servant in peace." The word "releasing" in verse 29 is like a master letting a servant lay down his duties and go home. Simeon's peace comes from "my eyes have seen your salvation" (verse 30).
3. Simeon's words to Mary. In verses 34-35 Simeon also tells Mary that this child will cause the falling and rising of many, and that a sword will pierce her own soul. The passage does not hide the suffering to come.
4. Anna's age can be read two ways. Verse 37 can mean she was now eighty-four, or that she had been widowed for eighty-four years. The text doesn't describe how she came through her years of widowhood, only how she spent the rest of her life.
5. "Didn't depart from the temple." This means she was constantly at the temple, with prayer and worship at the centre of her life; it need not mean she lived there.
Opening words (leader reads)
What we share in the group stays in the group. There is an exception: if there is ongoing harm, a risk to a child or vulnerable person, or immediate danger of self-harm or harm to others, the leader cannot promise complete confidentiality. Normally, the leader will first try to discuss this with the person and share only necessary information with those who can actually help. If a child or someone unable to protect themselves is involved, or there is immediate danger, do not wait for consent. Contact a pastor, qualified professionals, local police, emergency services or medical services as appropriate. In immediate danger, get help straight away and do not leave the person alone.
Warm-up: Of the older people you know, who makes you think, "You can live this well in old age"? (First-time visitors can share too)
Leader note: Keep it light: an old man who looks after bicycles at the park every day, an older sister who still comes to the meeting at ninety. Then add one sentence: even in old age, life can still carry weight.
Lesson recap (leader reads, about 1 minute, for those who didn't prepare)
This lesson covers Luke 2:25-38. In Jerusalem there was a man named Simeon, righteous and devout, looking for the consolation of Israel. That day, moved by the Holy Spirit, he went into the temple just as Jesus's parents brought the child in. Simeon took the child in his arms and blessed God, saying: Master, now you are releasing your servant in peace, according to your word, for my eyes have seen your salvation. There was also a prophetess named Anna, widowed after seven years of marriage, of great age, who did not leave the temple, worshipping with fasting and prayer night and day. She came up and gave thanks to God and spoke of the child to all who were waiting for redemption. We'll compare this with Isaiah 46: even to your old age I am he; even to grey hairs I will carry you. Today we're talking together about how to live on alone after a spouse has gone.
1. Read verses 25-28. What kind of man was Simeon? What had he been waiting for?
Leader note: Righteous and devout, with the Holy Spirit on him; he was looking for the consolation of Israel, and had been told by the Spirit that he would not die before seeing the Lord's Christ.
2. Read verses 29-35. What did Simeon say as he held the child? Why could he speak calmly about his own death?
Leader note: "Now you are releasing your servant... in peace"; because his eyes had seen God's salvation. He also told Mary about the suffering to come; the text doesn't avoid it.
3. Read verses 36-38. What does Luke record about Anna's life? What did she do after seeing the child?
Leader note: She was widowed after seven years of marriage; she was of great age; she was constantly at the temple, worshipping with fasting and prayer night and day; she gave thanks to God and spoke of the child to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem.
4. Anna was widowed after only seven years of marriage, yet Luke records that she worshipped "night and day" and told others about the child. When a spouse has gone, what does life alone still hold before God?
Leader note: This is your lesson's center question; leave plenty of time. The text doesn't describe how she came through her grief, and we won't fill that in for her. What it records is that her years of widowhood were not wasted: prayer, service, and witness all carry weight in God's eyes. When a spouse has gone, life changes but hasn't ended; God may still have work for us, and it needn't wait until the heart stops hurting.
5. Simeon said, "Now you are releasing your servant... in peace." Where did his peace come from? What hope do Christians have in facing the death of loved ones and their own death? Is it all right to grieve?
Leader note: His peace came from having seen God's salvation, that is, Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 says our grief is not like that of those who have no hope; Paul doesn't forbid grieving. Jesus died and rose again, and those who belong to him will also rise. Grief and hope can live in the heart at the same time.
6. (Flexible question; discuss if time allows) Isaiah 46:4 says, "even to gray hairs I will carry you." When someone is old and their spouse has gone, what does it mean to be "carried" by God?
Leader note: These words were first spoken to the house of Israel, and they also show God's heart toward those who belong to him. To be carried is to be held close to his heart. We have been carried since birth, and now that our hair is grey and those around us have gone, he has not let go.
7. After losing someone close, what kind of companionship helped you most? What words helped least? (Share if you're willing; if you'd rather not talk about yourself, you can just share an observation; first-time visitors can share too)
Leader note: Just listen; don't comment. What people often say helped most: someone coming to sit with them, eating together, listening as they talked about their spouse; what helped least: "Stop crying," "Look on the bright side," "He's gone to a better place." If someone says they can't go on or don't want to live, follow the note above about thoughts of suicide: stay with them on the spot, don't wait until after the meeting.
8. This week, what will you do for yourself, or for a widowed older person?
Leader note: Lead toward specifics: phone an older person who lives alone and invite them for a meal; ask a friend to be with you on the anniversary of your spouse's death; sign up with the church's visiting group. Build your action list from this.
Ask one member to read Luke 2:29-32 slowly, then Isaiah 46:4, and everyone is silent for a minute. Those willing pray a sentence or two: thanking God for a spouse who has died, telling him honestly about the ache in their heart, or asking comfort for widowed people in the group. Those who don't want to speak can pray silently—that's prayer too; first-time visitors can listen quietly and don't need to pray or commit to anything. The leader then gathers up and prays for each person. Prayer requests stay within the group. Do not put sensitive matters in the app or share them in a group chat. For routine follow-up, first obtain the person’s consent, then privately note only the necessary sentence or two. If a child or someone unable to protect themselves is at risk, or there is immediate danger of self-harm or harm to others, do not wait for consent: contact local emergency services, police or appropriate protective services immediately.
You might begin this way (prayer direction):
Lord, thank you for giving us our spouse all those years. Now they are gone; the house is empty, and so is a part of our heart; you see it all. Thank you for promising that even to our old age you are the same, and even to grey hairs you will carry us. Comfort the widowed brothers and sisters among us; be with them through the nights and through the holidays. Help us, like Anna, to put the rest of our days in your hands; and like Simeon, because we have seen your salvation, to find peace before you. In Jesus's name, amen.
After prayer, each person chooses one from below to do this week. Just one; if you can't decide right now, that's okay.
No need to record it or report it; you're welcome to share next time if you'd like. If you didn't manage something, bring the obstacle to prayer.
Find a quiet moment and write slowly on a sheet of paper; if writing is difficult, you can simply think it over, record a voice message on your phone, or tell someone you trust. If you can't go on writing or talking, stop and continue another day.
When you have finished, you can pray with that sheet of paper; if you like, you can also show it to a trusted friend or to your children.
You could choose “Losing a Loved One” in the Life's Circumstances series (Luke 7:11–17), or “Facing Death” in the Life's Circumstances series (2 Timothy 4:6–18).